Is this my toothbrush?

The only way I could definitely certainly know whether I have accidentally been using the same toothbrush as my flatmate would be the accelerated wear.

I examine it closely. Seems wet. Do they stay wet overnight? How quickly do bristles usually fray and split with normal use? I know this is my toothbrush, mine’s the blue one… I’m pretty sure mine’s the blue one. Could somebody else think their one was the blue one?




I brush. It doesn’t taste like anyone else has been using it. Would I be able to taste it? Hmm.

Should I text my flatmates? No. I could throw them all out and start again. Say that we were burgled by a pervert. Jimmy open the back door and throw away one of their laptops. Some burglars cook your food. I could cook some chicken, make it look real authentic and shit. Yeah this is fucking brilliant. Genius. I’m like fucking frank abignale junior or something, I could forge cheques and buy a pair of mating british bulldogs and breed them and sell them. Yeah. That’s big business. I could buy a golf cart and run tourists to the top of Mt Eden. Yeah I’ll dangle advertising from those little remote helicopters, make a real scene. Yeah that’s it. That’s fucking it. I’ll never work again, I’m an ant queen. I’m an ant queen.